I started out this morning in a very melancholy sort of mood. One of the primary reasons for this is the fact that my cooperating teacher, who is both a superb teacher and a lovely person, is gone today at her mother’s side as she is about to pass away from complications of Alzheimer’s disease. Even without all of the support and assistance that she has given, I would have a hard time not being a little mournful for her own struggles.
The other reason: An exceedingly moving piece by one of my favorite teacher-writers, Paul Martin, entitled “Standing On The Edge Of The Rest Of My Life.”
I can’t say much about it – there simply aren’t words – but it is an immensely bittersweet piece, filled with absolutely exquisite language; indeed, language so beautiful that I am compelled to give just a taste:
So here we go. We must believe in spring. I pop Bill Evans’ lyrically sad jazz piano into the computer. Life is a journey. One foot in front of the other. Regroup, revise, restart, rewrite. Stop crying and get moving.
Outside in the early morning five a.m. light, Stone eats his breakfast while I let the cold wind wash over me and contemplate the sky. Canadian geese knife their way north, racing for summer. Their cries fill the morning. Nature goes on. Life goes on. And it will go on without me, but I would prefer that my journey continue for as long as possible. The road beckons. The struggle will be difficult, but difficult tasks offer the greatest reward.
Let’s go.
How can one argue with that kind of perspective?
[Update: I talked to my co-op after school and found out that her mother passed away at around noon today. It really is a sad day.]
March 25, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Galen, First of all, I will keep good thoughts for your mentor teacher. Dealing with that situation must be incredibly difficult for her, and now the loss adds another layer of grief. From reading previous entries, you have faced the challenges of teaching. We get a number of applications for teaching positions at my school where the applicant tells me they want to teach because “they have so much time off” and are “finished each day by 3:00pm.” I find it hard not to laugh outloud. Teaching takes everything out of you, physically and spiritually, but you will never do more necessary and important work. Yes, there are many days the students have their way with you, but they are learning how to live and to do that means testing the waters–many times in inappropriate and aggravating ways. Take heart. Ultimately, you can turn any situation into a “teaching moment.” They do not realize your contribution to their lives until long after, but you are responsible for people becoming better human beings, and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. In life, every person must choose a teacher and choose a friend. Sometimes you find both in a single person, but know that you are part of what every human being needs: someone to show him or her the way. The journey is not easy, but it is a gift.
Take care and keep up your spirit,
Paul L. Martin
March 26, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Thanks very much for your comments, Paul. My teaching experiences so far really have taught me a lot about what teaching is about (and it’s certainly not about leaving at 3:00 – What teacher leaves their work behind at 3:00? None that I know…).
I am certainly encouraged by your words, although it’s not evident to me how I may have touched any of my students’ lives at this point – hopefully that’s true, but if not, then I hope it happens when I get my own position and classroom. (The most frustrating thing about teaching: Wanting things to happen when they don’t and trying to figure out the reason for the disparity.)