As of tomorrow, I will have only two weeks left of student teaching.
That is an absolutely insane feeling, for two reasons: 1) It doesn’t feel like this should be over this quickly (although it felt like it was dragging much earlier in the process) and 2) I don’t know what I’m going to do after this is over! Well, in a sense, I do, but it will be extremely odd not to be here everyday.
I am also starting to give back classes, another sure indicator that my time here is drawing nigh. I will have one class – the one with which I have had the best success and rapport – all the way to the last day I am here, but it will also be somewhat welcome to have more free time at school to do my planning and to work on my Teacher Work Sample, which is due in about a week. That itself will be quite time-consuming, although – sorry, education professors – probably not very useful in the long run.
I will eventually reflect back on the whole experience, but not now – I’m too close still. I will need some space before I can really look back with any sort of accuracy to evaluate the value of my experience and my own efforts during this time.
My hope, however, is that I will have indeed found some useful ideas for use in my own classroom and for the search for a position, a search that I am currently engaging in. I am hopeful to that regard as well, but I honestly don’t know what to expect. One unfortunate thing that has occurred during this experience is a decrease in confidence; teaching, unlike many things that I have ever done, is simply too hard to come naturally, and I consequently am acutely aware of my own limitations, especially for things like classroom management. I know I can improve, and I am aware as well of how I need to improve, but the experience still has a somewhat disconcerting effect on me.
No matter. I’ve made a commitment to this vocation, and I intend to follow through. We’ll only have to see what happens from here.